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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644417">Well, Alivebur wasn’t on his best behaviour</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/driedupsquid/pseuds/driedupsquid'>driedupsquid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, DreamSMP, Last two are only mentioned - Fandom, SMPEarth, SMPLive, mcyt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(if you squint), (mentioned pt 2 electric boogaloo), (mentioned) - Freeform, (v smol), (v v smol), Anyways, Blood, Brit on Brit Violence, Dadza, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Abandonment, Hugs, JoshA20 - Freeform, Knife Wound, Memory Loss, Mild Gore, Murder, Oneshot, REAL TAGS START HERE ------&gt;, Wilbur Soot Needs a Hug, Will lived at SMPLive and Techno visited once, and before SMPEarth there was SMPLive where SMPEarth was, badda-bing badda-boom SMPEarth was founded by our lord and savior, but Phil lived beyond SMPL and Tommy was like. a Baby. A mere child. Yknow?, but at least he knows he's loved :D, but then SMPLive (kingdom) DIED, ghostbur is sad :(, he's still sad at the end, his dad is there to comfort him though!!, knife, love that dude &lt;3, p much SBI are all from where SMPEarth was, so he never went to SMPL, uhh there's some world building halfway through</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:01:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/driedupsquid/pseuds/driedupsquid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"He made some mistakes, and I think he realized that…"</p>
<p>Phil and Ghostbur are alone in the Antarctic Commune and Will starts to have a breakdown. Phil gets to be a good father for once and comforts his son. Wilbur talks his feelings out and Phil tells him that Ghostbur will never be forgotten.</p>
<p>(Written (mostly) before Doomsday)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Well, Alivebur wasn’t on his best behaviour</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>// TWs // Blood // Wound // Loss of Memories // Fear of Abandonment // Talking About Murder  // Knife // Small Knife Wound //  (just a cut on Phil’s finger)</p>
<p>Based on "Darren" - Jack Stauber('s Micropop)</p>
<p>Word count: 2136</p>
<p>Beta'd by my wonderful partner @/falling_mapl3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>       "<em>Why’d I ask to die?</em>”<br/><br/>       Phil turned, surprised by the question, putting down the apple he was peeling to face Ghostbur, who’s eyes looked innocent enough, and the way he’d phrased the question didn’t make it seem, well, malicious.<br/><br/>       Will’s skin was a light grey, with light blue freckles dotting his cheeks, which were partially obscured by the long hair that hung down. His shoulders were hunched over slightly and he wore a baggy yellow sweater. Phil flinched as his eyes crossed over the sweater— one of Alivebur’s favourite sweaters, the thing he wore almost daily while ruling Newfoundland. Phil missed that.<br/><br/>       It was also covered in a deep blue stain on Ghostbur's abdomen, an ever bleeding scar.</p>
<p>       A wound that Philza had put there himself.</p>
<p>       “I thought you remembered that?”</p>
<p>       “N-no? I don’t think I do? Do I?” Wilbur scrunched his eyebrows together, as if searching his limited memory for the reason he’d asked his father to kill him, “I definitely remember you killing me, and me asking for it, but I don’t remember why I asked…”</p>
<p>       Phil’s heart broke a little at this, and he averted his gaze, staring out the window of Techno’s house, where all of Sleepy Bois Inc. had been staying.</p>
<p>       The house itself was warm, but the outdoors was a nipping cold that Phil was never really that keen on going out in, though Wilbur had no idea of the cold.</p>
<p>       “I don’t think I remember that… should I? I can try to remember but I don’t think that will work, sorry!” Wilbur’s voice brightened at the end as if he’d already forgotten what he’d asked. Phil looked back at Ghostbur, who had decided to sit back down on the couch, a glowing smile plastered across his face as he stared at Edward, the resident Enderman.</p>
<p>       Phil sighed and went back to peeling the apple, small knife in hand as Ghostbur began humming.</p>
<p>       They stayed like this for a minute or two, before Ghostbur spoke up again,</p>
<p>       “Why’d I ask to die?”<br/>       “<em>Shit</em>,” Phil hissed out. Wilbur’s repeating of the question had caught him so off guard that he’d cut deep into his thumb without realizing it. Phil stuck it in his mouth and turned to Ghostbur, who was looking concerned at Phil’s exclamation.</p>
<p>       “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself? Should I get Techno or Tommy?” Will said, worry lacing his voice, stepping over to Phil.</p>
<p>       Well, Phil wasn’t sure if he could really call it “stepping,” because while Ghostbur’s body moved as if he was walking and he was half sure that if he <em> could </em> see Will’s feet —he faded out completely just across his calves— that they’d be taking steps, but of course, he couldn’t, and wasn’t sure that they were even there. Not like it mattered that much anyway. So Wilbur stepped over to Philza, concern visible in his eyes.</p>
<p>       “I’m fine,” Phil said, standing a little to make eye contact with Wilbur, though the ghost still towered over him. Phil elected to sit on the desk, “What did you want to know again?”<br/>       “I- uhm… I think I wanted to… I wanted to know… uhm, uh. I think I wanted to know why Alivebur asked you to kill him? Yeah! That was it!”<br/>       “Oh yeah. Well, Alivebur wasn’t on his best behaviour. He made some mistakes, and I think he realized that…'' Phil glanced around, uncomfortable.<br/>       “Well, why didn’t he try to be better?”<br/>       “He was sick. Very sick, and I don’t think he could get better,”<br/>       “So why’d I ask <em> you </em> to kill me?”<br/>       “Uh- I think it was because, well, you’re my son, right? One last fatherly embrace? I don’t know, Will. It’s what he wanted, and who am I to deny a dying man’s wish?”</p>
<p>       “But he wasn’t <em> dying </em> , was he? Because you stabbed me, which means that you killed me, and that he wasn’t dying before you killed him? I don’t remember dying before you stabbed me. That memory is only painful once the sword is in me..?” Ghostbur fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater, glancing around before making eye contact with Edward, to which Wilbur let a happy smile etch itself into his face. Phil leapt down from the desk softly, approaching Ghostbur, who’d stepped towards Edward cautiously.</p>
<p>       “He was dying long before I got there. Like I said, he was very very sick,” Phil placed a hand on Wilbur’s shoulder, which was surprisingly solid, “Can you even anger Endermen?” he whispered, not really asking, so Wilbur elected to ignore the question.</p>
<p>       “Why didn’t you fix him up? You always made me better when I was sick as a kid! Some beetroot stew and maybe a gapple. Why didn’t you help Alivebur like that?” Will stepped forward to Edward again, shrugging off Phil’s hand. He took a small leap and began floating, now eye level with Edward, who looked surprisingly calm.</p>
<p>       Phil began to speak again and Wilbur looked back over his shoulder at his father, “He wasn’t sick like that. It was a different kind of sick, one that I didn’t know how to fix. I’m sure there’s <em> someone </em> out there that could’ve helped hi—”<br/>       “Like Mum?”<br/>       “No, I don’t think she would’ve been able to do much about Alivebur. I guess we know what trouble that comes from this kind of stuff now…“ Phil finished, stepping closer to Edward, head down so as to not anger the Enderman.</p>
<p>       Wilbur slowly came back down to the floor, tilting his head a little as he looked over at Phil, “What’s wrong, Dad?” he whispered out, trying to match the silent atmosphere of the room.<br/><br/>       Phil sighed again, glancing out the window, watching as the snow fell down in heavy flakes. He turned back to Wilbur, cupping his son’s face in his un-injured hand.<br/><br/>       “A-are you getting greyer?” Phil whispered out, confusion heavy in his eyes, and worry more. </p>
<p>       “Am I? I can’t see my reflection… I can’t see a lot. Or remember a lot… </p>
<p>       “Sometimes I’m worried that I’m going to forget you completely and it freaks me out, Dad. I k-know I’m like an amnesiac and all that but I don’t want to forget everything, yknow?</p>
<p>       “I don’t sleep —like you or Techno or Tommy— I just sit there waiting for you guys to wake up. When you guys are asleep it gets harder to remember, and sometimes it makes me freak out,” tears were starting to fall from Ghostbur’s eyes, though they don’t look like tears, more like just the blue he hands out to people when he sees that they’re sad. It stained his cheeks a color that was usually happy, but against his pale grey skin it was more melancholy.</p>
<p>       “I know I’m a ghost because I had unfinished business on the SMP, b-but, but what if I don’t finish my business before you and the other’s all die. And then I-I’m forced to wander without any memories?</p>
<p>       “That’s what makes me panic, Dad, I-I just. There’s so many <em>crumbs </em>of memories! Things I left behind when I died!</p>
<p>       “Forgotten by me except for all these little bits and pieces that are WORTHLESS. They don’t mean <em>anything.<br/></em></p>
<p>       “I’m forgetting FUNDY. I don’t remember my own <em> fucking son</em>,” the tears were coming harder now, and Will had leaned into his father’s chest, holding tight to him. Phil couldn’t help but flinch as he wrapped his wings around the ghost, <em> this was the same position he was in when I killed him</em>, “What if I forget YOU! I don’t wanna forget you…</p>
<p>       “…I don’t remember Mum that much. I remember her telling me to play nice with Techno after you brought him home, and that’s about it,”. Wilbur stopped, looking up at Phil, face more blue than grey, and Phil was half sure his own shirt would be the same.</p>
<p>       “You remember the first day you met Tech?” Phil whispered, trying to change the subject as he comforted his son.</p>
<p>       “Uh-uhm yeah I think. You guys were speaking Piglin, I think? I remember you had been gone for about two weeks. Something about visiting some far off country? There weren’t many countries when I was a kid, I remember that! Uhm. When you came back you just kinda had Technoblade with you. He was really shy, and we couldn’t speak the same language, but then you and Mum slowly taught me! I think I can still speak it. Uhm. Uh…“ Ghostbur paused, obviously carding through his memory for S. Galactic. Phil spoke up, still trying to comfort his son,</p>
<p>       “Don’t worry about it, Will, don’t stress yourself out trying to remember something as big as a whole langua-” and he was promptly interrupted by Ghostbur speaking perfect Galactic with an amazing Piglin accent.</p>
<p>       “Iᓭℸ ̣⍑╎ᓭ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ?” </p>
<p>       “Holy shit,” Phil said, amazement clear, “Oh my Josh… Will, that was perfect,”.</p>
<p>       Wilbur just mumbled, before speaking up as he wiped his tears on the back of his hand, “It took so long to remember just those few words, I-I’m not sure I’d be able to do more than that,” his voice was heavy with a certain type of fear Phil hadn’t heard in years. </p>
<p>       That was the voice of a boy who was afraid he was going to die, a voice much like the one Technoblade had used when he’d first approached Phil in that forest all those years ago, walking towards the hybrid’s fire, mumbling those first words in shitty Piglin.</p>
<p>       His son was afraid of death.</p>
<p>       Alivebur hadn’t ever been afraid of death. Always simply respawning. No one really died back where the Sleepy Bois had been living, what would become the lands of SMPLive and later SMPEarth, it had always been that you just respawned, the only way to die to choose to move on or die of old age.</p>
<p>       But when Wilbur and Tommy moved onto the Greater DreamSMP the magic there changed something in them, and the same happened when Techno and Phil joined them.</p>
<p>       The same magic that kept them from leaving the SMP (It had been decided that Tommy and Wilbur would simply check it out, maybe conquer it for SMPEarth), had kept them from continuously respawning.</p>
<p>       Even then, Wilbur was <em>never </em>afraid of death on the SMP, the kid wasn’t even afraid of Dream himself, the SMP’s <em> God </em> —though he made it no secret that he was a serial God-Befriender, and Tommy often lorded it over Dream’s head that he, along with the other Business Boys, had won a war with a God—. Wilbur wasn’t afraid when he lost his first life in the Final Control room, and Wilbur wasn’t afraid when he lost his second life to Punz after being exiled.</p>
<p>       Alivebur was happy to see himself eventually go.</p>
<p>       But Ghostbur, this poor kid who just wants to be whole again, he’s afraid of losing it all. Afraid of dying again.</p>
<p>       “You’re not going to forget everything, Will, I’ll make sure of it,” Phil said, his voice little more than a whisper.</p>
<p>       “What’s that old idiom, Dad? The one where it’s like uhm, where you don’t remember something if you’re not interacting with it?”<br/>       “Out of sight, out of mind?”<br/>       “Y-yeah,” Ghostbur paused to sniffle, leaning back into his father’s chest, “out of sight out of mind… that’s what it feels like. When I don’t have evidence that someone was real then I start to forget them. What if I get lost? Like w-when I first tried to find Techno at the Antarctic Commune, I got a little lost… and it was so hard to think.</p>
<p>       “It was so hard to even remember why I was in the Antarctic. It was extra scary because I thought it was going to snow, and then I’d melt, w-which isn’t a very good thing, yknow?” Wilbur said, tears beginning to prick at his eyes again. Phil patted his son on the head and waited for the ghost to speak again, not sure what to say.<br/><br/>       “What would yo-you do i-if I melted? Would you care? I-I’m not that import-important now that I’m a ghost so w-would you even remember me if I dis-disappeared one day?” Ghostbur muttered out, the tears coming again as Phil cradled the ghost.</p>
<p>       “I’m not going to forget you, and I’m not even going to let you get yourself lost, alright? I care about you <em> so much </em> , okay Will? It doesn’t matter how many times you try your luck, I’ll catch up, and so will Techno and Tommy.”</p>
<p>       "You’ll be fine, and I hope you know that.”</p>
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